High Hopes Deferred by High Octane Emotion

What excites you? How does your blood pump faster? What makes adrenalin seep out of the middle of your back with every breath? What brings forth emotion? Does being involved in God’s kingdom just bring shivers to your bones with the coming ambition of seeing the gospel being realized in some ones eyes? How about helping the poor? Going to ‘do’ something for the gospel? Well, I get excited about those things. And if you do too, then keep reading.

Being myself singularly prone to wide varieties of ‘things to be done for the kingdom,’ I see my ambition coupled with the catalyst of zeal. We have all had those bursts of emotion or intolerance leading to action, but eventually these fizzle out like the end of a candle This then leading to trying to do everything and then accomplishing nothing. This flaw most prominently gets blamed on my Italian pedigree and the geography of my adolescence instead of the deceitfulness of my indwelling sin. I see myself vacillating like the waves in a bathtub that I get into. I control them by my movements. But eventually they get out of control, bouncing off the walls and slamming into each other, causing more chaos than it does good. And so my life is similar because I try to control the ministry I get into. I try and control the works that I do by being excited about them, but eventually it becomes too much for me because emotion does not last. But a committed labor of unconditional love knows no fatigue. Fatigue ensues because I can’t be committed to a sole issue for a long time because I am only committed on an emotional level, not the level of the will. It’s always, ‘lets go volunteer at the homeless shelter!’ for one day, or ‘Lets go on a mission trip!’ for a week instead of a lifetime. See the distinction. One is only doing works, the other is following Christ, because his entire life was on mission. He was called out of heaven from the virgin birth to the ascension. He had one purpose, not his will, but the Father’s. It takes years to build friendships, a lifetime to build trust, and hours of prayer to be submitted to God, and thus involved in his kingdom.

This is a recurring pattern in my life: that when I get excited about something it only lasts for about the time of a bath. But by contrast, in the Bible we see a lasting consistency in the fathers of our faith through the continual obedience to God’s word. The halls of faith are lined with a work of faith, a labor of love, and steadfastness of hope (1 Thes 1:3), they hold to it, and are kept in it. Case in point: Moses. In Hebrews 11:23-28 we see about 80 years covered, and it was all the same faith, continually for the same work, the salvation of Israel. Ouch. Breathe. We have been given the same faith. Go.

I lack the commitment to anything for a long period of time to consistently follow things to the end, especially if it hurts or gets in the way of my schedule. I am not like the godly man in Psalm 15:4 who “swears to his own hurt.” He takes an oath so strong that even when the double edge of that sword pierces his own agenda he keeps to it. Being committed is not a signature at a car dealer forcing you into exorbitant interest with menacing threats of bad credit if you don’t pay. But a vow, an oath, simply, an ‘I’ll cover you bro’ or, ‘yeah man I got you’ and following it out to the end, no matter the cost, no matter the cell phone minutes or gas wasted. But being there, without complaint. Thinking of others instead of yourself, as Christ thought of our great insult and drank his cup, willingly. Are you willing to drink the same? Even if they insult you? How about if they rob your house, steal your ipod, or steal your identity?

We followers of Christ here in the States, who see the truth, who labor to defend his righteousness, and love and hold onto the gospel often wonder why the world is so blind to the reality of Christ. Why are they so ignorant of his graciousness, and so headlong into their sin, calling Christians hypocrites as they plummet down the rabbit hole of idolatry. Could this chasm between our understanding of Christ and their view of the church be because we as believers don’t keep our word? We don’t follow through with what we say? And we don’t really know how to be committed friends to both people in the world and in the body of Christ?

I see this in my own life and in others so clearly in this single anecdote. I have more than a few Christian friends who when I call them don’t call me back. When I leave messages for them to call me back ASAP, they wait a week. And when they call me out of the blue, they don’t leave messages, because, well, I guess they don’t have time to leave a message for me. And when you don’t have time for something, it’s not a priority to you, and if something is not a priority for you, you don’t care about it. And thus in this situation they don’t care about people, because they don’t take the time for them.


This is one solitary symptom, but not a lynchpin, showing us how deep sin really goes. We see what Christ is talking about in Matt 5:47, “And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?” We tend to think, ‘yeah, the world only does that, I go out of my way to talk to people.” To which I respond: when was the last time any of us invited even one of our closer non-Christian to a friend’s Bible study or church? When was the last time you helped someone move? When was the last time you reorganized your agenda to share the gospel? When did you last consider what pleases God? How many orphans and widows have you been taking care of? Or better yet, what did you last buy for yourself and how does that help you reflect the glory of God? Did you keep all your promises or did you slip out of them because something more fun came up? It’s not that the opportunities are not there, it’s that we don’t have flexible agendas and schedules to serve others. Its that we don’t care about the schedule of the wind, the schedule of the spirit, which only God knows where it goes.

But the point is this: we don’t even greet our own brothers. We don’t take the time to leave them messages using technology for the glory of God. We wait to call people, even our Christian friends. So the lack of care, concern, and value of even the body of Christ shows that the world does not know who we serve because we don’t love each other. Because we don’t take the time to be involved in each others lives.

It seems that this gas tank of emotion runs dry quickly because it was pushed to redline RPM’s too quickly and then overheated because of over commitment. The redline danger I have found here is in too much vacillation and lack of long term commitment, varied and false expectations leading to a false hope for the future, and an always present discontentment by always trying to be on the greener side of the grass.

I see us in danger of wanting to do so much in for the future of this world that we forget the ‘grace of the now.’ That we are invincible in the moment and put exactly where we are by the great architect of the universe to work by his love for his glory. Do not be dismayed by how seemingly tedious and boring the current job or task at hand. God is watching with intricate design, love, and care at all things that are happening (Prov 15:3). Be about the grace of the now: You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus,” (Tit 2:1). This is the gospel of the now: “Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation (2 Cor 6:2). The breathing, living God is with you.